Canyon Ranch opened in 1979 and has because one of the most
famous health and wellness resorts in North America. Most of the folks are there for at least a
week, some stay for 1-3 months. It is
insane. I did a single spa day.
Whenever I’m around the super-rich (you know, the ones with
more dollars than sense), I’m always totally amazed at how warped their view of
everyday reality is. I also play this
game where I wonder if I won the lottery (or was otherwise suddenly
independently wealthy) how long it would take me to become one of them.
I’m not
saying they aren’t nice or good people, just that it is obscene to spend $500
dollars on a tiny face cream like you’re ordering off the dollar menu.
Anyway, for the spa day you get a $160 service allowance,
lunch at one of their restaurants, and access to basically the whole
Ranch. Any classes, lectures, etc. are
up for grabs – as much as you can cram in between 8am-5pm. (Spoiler alert: I did not arrive at 8am.)
I got there around 9, checked in, got a quick tour, was
assigned a locker – another tour of the locker room – and headed out to my
first class. It was a stretching
class. I learned so good stuff there
that I can easily replicate on my own.
After that I went to a lecture with their head of exercise
science. He was funny and it was pretty
educational. I might be checking out
some of his info with my resident expert when I’m in Reno, but it sounded
pretty legit. LOL
Lunch was up next, it was delicious (although a bit
spicy….that chipotle mayo). There was a
guy sitting behind me who was talking to a lady a few tables over – read they
were pretty loud, so it was easy to overhear- but she was saying she was
leaving for a couple of days to go to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. But she wasn’t checking out; so, she was
paying the insane rate at Canyon Ranch AND for whatever/wherever she was
staying on her “break”. See: the super-rich
are crazy, y’all.
After lunch, I headed back to the Yoga Studio for a
breathing class. Turns out….I know how
to breathe already. But really I already
do a lot of techniques she talked us through because I’ve read them in random
articles over the years.
I was going to go to another lecture, but instead decided to
check out the “relaxation” room. A room
in which I totally fell asleep.
Cold towels and cucumbers in the rest and relaxation room.
After the nap, it was time for my spa service – I had a
facial. It was delightful. The technician could not get over my
name. She kept saying, “I do 7
appointments every day and I’ve never heard your name before.” I get complimented on my name quite often and
I think it’s funny because a) I didn’t have anything to do with it, b) I think
it’s a fine name, but not insanely beautiful or lyrical. I have developed a new response though.
Them: Your name is so pretty.
Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday.
This joke kills. Every. Single. Time.
The technician also told me that I have great skin and just
need to exfoliate a little more frequently.
She did not try to sell me a $500/oz. cream.
The most fascinating thing about Canyon Ranch was how
they’ve anticipated everything you might need and have it available right
there. Every single women’s bathroom
stall has a little crate of pads and tampons.
The sinks all have soap, lotion, after sun care, sunscreen, mouthwash,
q-tips, hair ties, etc. etc. The shower
stalls are stocked with towels, shampoo, conditioner, etc. They even have hair washing sinks if you just
want to wash your hair after a treatment. Also, basically a self-serve salon
with makeup mirrors, blow dryers, etc.
Canyon Ranch was a splurge for me, but it is definitely
luxurious. That said, if given the choice, I'd rather go back to Santa Fe and 10,000 Waves (#89).
